We owe you guys an apology.
Our U-shaped sofas have been hugely popular this year. In fact, they’ve been viewed online almost 23,000 times in the last month alone – and we’re super thankful to everyone who’s bought one. But unfortunately, they seem to be causing a few… unexpected… effects.
To be honest, they’re a bit of a nightmare. Really, the stuff of horror films.😭 All we can do now is apologise. And make sure from this point onwards, they come with a warning…
Buy one of our U-shaped sofas at your own risk; as within just seven days of purchase, you’ll be ticking off the seven deadly sins – and begging to go back to your lumpy old two-seater.
Add one of our U-shapes to your lounge and your socials won’t know what’s hit them.
Selfie after selfie. Share after share. Reel after reel. Another #JOINTHECLUB post just to get the likes. It’s your most prized possession. Your new pride and joy – and you want people to know.
Influencing? Or just plain irritating? It’s debatable. But if you can’t resist the temptation to keep tagging your new couch, we can only say sorry for your dying number of followers.
You found it. You bought it. It’s all yours.
Every last inch.
U-shaped couches may be designed to seat multiple bums. But it’s just so spine-tinglingly soft and deliciously comfortable. Why the hell would you want to share it? The boyfriend banished to the spare room. Doggo relegated to the basket. Strictly no visitors allowed. This bad boy will make you selfish to the core.
Luxury U-shaped sofas capture the essence of who we are at Sofa Club.
They’re just too damn sexy. Fashion for the home, designed for the trendsetters – the peeps who want to ‘wow’ and make a statement. Think low legs, oversized arms, and streamlined and minimalistic designs. All crafted from seductively soft fabrics, such as boucle and luxe velvet.
Don’t think it’s possible to feel that way about a couch?
Ditch bae now. Because once a U-shape is on the scene, you’ll only have eyes for the sofa.
Unfortunately, you’ll lose at least one friend acquaintance.
Someone so green with envy, they can’t bear being near you any longer. How come he gets to have such sick things? How can he afford it? It’s called sofa finance, mate…look it up.
You may as well delete them from your contacts now because they’ve officially ghosted you. No matter how close you were – pre-U-shaped sofa – they just can’t hack the jealousy.
Cooking a healthy meal? No no no – that would require moving. Which means, Deliveroo is the only way forward. Maccies for breakfast. Classic Five Guys cheeseburger for lunch. Boneless banquet for tea.
Our U-shaped couches should come with a warning: will cause weight gain.
Within 24 hours, you’ll be a couch potato. And those size 10 jeans? Toss them out now hun.
One of the main issues with a double chaise sofa is that it’s just too big.
There’s too much space for people to sit down – and shock horror… socialise.
Sure, catching up with your nearest and dearest is nice – once in a while. But every time the ring doorbell plays its sweet little tune, signalling the arrival of even more visitors, you’ll be filled with blind rage. Someone else? With the cheek to come in and get comfy on your luxury U-shaped sofa?
Suddenly, the sight of your BFF will leave you feeling as friendly as Michael Myers.
Sit down at your own risk – you may just never get back up again.
The gym. What’s that? A sesh on the Peloton? Don’t think so. A walk with Dad? No thanks.
Anything more than sitting with your feet up – remote in one hand, glass of vino in the other – will just feel like a total waste of time and energy. And every single second of spare time in your day will be spent lounging on the U-shape. Buy one and prepare to meet your inner sloth.
We appreciate just how hard it is to resist our U-shaped sofas – so it’s a case of do or die.
If you’re a slave to the trends and desperate to up your sofa game, sure, take a look at our collection and pick one out. We can have it delivered to your home in a week. But just be warned – these couches may come with dire consequences. And the question is, are you willing to take the risk?
After all, we’re sure your old sofa looks just as nice…🥴
Or maybe you’ve already shopped with us? If you’ve committed the seven deadly sins, be sure to tag us on Insta using #JOINTHECLUB. We’d love to hear about your experience, no matter how horrifying it may be.
Happy Halloween folks!
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